Advanced Notice
by Swa-Sa Masou
Summary: Would the reveal of the Serena chapters have gone differently if Dan had told her beforehand? Had given her some say in the matter? Can their relationship at this point look somewhat healthy?


A/N:Dan's actions are bothersome, I get it, but so are Serena's. She has done her share of crappy stuff and Dan is forgiving and I think that if he had handled it a little better, she should have been forgiving.

Dan paced back and forth in the hallway leading to Serena's room- _their room_. Things had been going so well. He loved her, she loved him. But he still wrote the chapter and he had to do something about it before he ruined what they had. He had a choice to make between his girlfriend, who he knew was the love of his life no matter how hard he tried to deny that over several years, and his success. Getting his name out there to be a serious writer was all he had ever wanted. But Serena, Serena was also everything he had ever wanted.

In his hand, he had an iPad, tapping it back and forth against his free hand. Tomorrow, his next chapter would hit. Tomorrow, his life would change.

He just wasn't sure how yet.

What he was sure of, was that he should not spring this chapter on Serena with no notice. They were set to have a big Thanksgiving get-together with their friends and some family tomorrow and he didn't want this to drop and have the entire thing unravel in front of everyone. No, if his relationship was going to implode, he didn't want all of them there. He also wanted Serena to have to talk to him about it, not have Blair sitting right there to run to.

He tentatively reached up and knocked on the door. He then realized that he lived there and it was his room that he shared with Serena and knocking was silly. As he pushed open the door, Serena was calmly sitting on the bed, scrolling on her computer and had a smirk on her face, "Hey there, did you just knock on our bedroom door?" She chuckled. "Not quite used to living here, yet?"

He crossed the room and sat next to her, scooting until his back was against the headboard, he leaned over and kissed her. "Well, that uh, that might not be a bad thing."

Looking up from her screen, Serena had a puzzled look. "Why would that not be a bad thing? Don't you want to live here?" she smiled again, "with me?" She leaned in to him and kissed him.

He loved this. This feeling, her lips on his, her soft warmth pressing against him, the comfort of sharing this bed and this life together. He could just delete the one that was less-than-complimentary of her. He could back pedal and not bring up anything.

But yet, he couldn't. He sighed and pulled back, "Of course I want to be here with you." He dragged a hand down his face. "I just, I have some questions for you." He set the iPad down on his bedside table. He had rehearsed this so many times in the hall. "You, you're proud of me, right? I mean, I've done some not great things to our friends and I know there's been some fallout, but I'm getting my name out there again after my last book and it's drumming up interest for my next one and…"

"Dan," Serena cut him off with a hand on his knee. "While I wish you had given them a heads up, you didn't write anything that the city didn't already know about Blair and Nate from Page Six. They've moved past it. I mean, yeah, they're mad, but you knew that they would be before you published." She shrugged, "they'll get over it."

Relief seemed to rush through Dan like a waterfall. He reached behind him to grab the tablet and said, "I'm really glad to hear you say that because the next chapter is," he held it out to her, "about you."

She looked blankly between his outstretched hand and his face for a moment, "Me? You wrote one of these things about me?"

"Serena, I can't write about this generation of Upper East Siders without the queen. You are the pinnacle. There isn't an Upper East Side without you. If I don't write about you because I love you, that's crap journalistic integrity." He really hoped she understood. Please, please understood. His unspoken plea was in his eyes, over and over.

Sighing heavily and looking straight at the wall in front of her, she held out her hand, "fine, give it to me." Her demeanor had become stiff. He guessed that made sense.

"Serena," He paused and she looked to him, her ponytail swaying. "I need you to know some things before you read this. Or these, actually, there are two of them. I wrote two chapters about you. One of them, all the notes are from a few months ago. I was so- so hurt and so mad and as I looked over the notes, I realized they weren't any less true just because I'm not mad at you anymore. And I'm not sure you want to read them, because like you said, Page Six has already hinted at all of it, but it's not kind stuff. The other one, it's exactly how I feel about you and how wonderful you are and it's- it's all right there." He handed it over, fully realizing that he had possibly just ended his relationship. "Serena, I love you. I do. I promise."

She took it and flipped it right-side up, "Dan, if you're talking like this, like you think this is going to cause me to hate you, why are you publishing it?"

"I've been wrestling with it since I wrote it. Am I willing to give up any steam my writing career has to protect this and do I want this if you would ask me to sacrifice my career dreams to protect you, when you know you'll move past this in a few weeks? But then, am I willing to do something that I know will cause you pain in order to get ahead? And I've been going crazy with it and I've come to a conclusion." He took a deep breath, "Whatever you want me to do once you've read both of them, I'll do. Even if you tell me to leave and that you never want to see me again, if you tell me not to publish the negative one, I'll delete it. I promise you."

"Okay. Well," she hesitated, "Dan, I need you to know, then, before I read these that I've loved you since high school and I love you now. I want your writing career to work and I don't want to stand in your way, but if this is as bad as you're making it sound, I still wish you weren't asking this of me."

He nodded once and then she turned on the screen and began to read. He had nothing to do but wait in nervous silence as he watched her eyes scan the document. When he saw her wipe a tear away, he wanted to lean forward and hold her, but he knew he shouldn't.

She reached the end of the first one, the bad one and she sniffled and swiped at another tear. "Dan, I think I need some space. I'm not telling you to leave, but, just, leave this room, please." She sniffed again.

"Serena-"

"No, Dan." She was refusing to look at him, "I have the other one to read and then I'll come find you."

He got up and walked to the door, shutting it behind him. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. He was about to go sit in front of the fire and wait, but he decided that when she came to find him, he wanted to be prepared, so he mixed her one as well and carried it with him. He flipped on the fire and was watching the flames dance, absently sipping at his scotch. He heard the door open and watched her walk down the hall toward him. He held up the glass he had poured for her and she took it, sitting down next to him.

They both stared into the fire for a few moments. She took a deep breath, "Well, I'm not going to lie and say that it's fine."

Taking another drink and swirling the amber liquid around, Dan replied, "I wasn't expecting you to say that it's fine."

Serena set down her glass and turned to look at him, "I need to know your plan here, or if you even had one! Because that first chapter, I don't see how you can write those things about me and then say that you love you. Then that second one, I don't see how you could bear the thought of publishing the first one and losing me if everything in the second one is true. What is your ideal scenario here?"

She moved closer and he threw his arm around her shoulder, thankful that he was even here, having this conversation, that she hadn't just thrown him out. "Well, I suppose best-case here is that you tell me to publish the one that will be the best for my career, that even if you don't get it, you'll support me and I spend the rest of our lives proving to you that everything I said in the second one is true and that I love you."

Leaning her head against his shoulder, he could feel her shudder, "Okay."

"What?!"

"I said 'okay.' I don't like it, but I've survived worse and Nate and Blair survived theirs. If this is what you need, then do it."

He ran a hand over her hair, "I can't believe that you're telling me this." He shifted so that he was cupping her face in his hands, "You're so amazingly unbelievable." He kissed her.

"I love you, Dan, but this has to be it. I mean it. No using me to write anything from this point on. You need to find a different focus than taking inspiration from our friends' lives. You need to promise me."

Still holding her and feeling like this moment is so incredibly fragile, he stammered out, "Y-yes! Ab-absolutely. Never again, I promise you. Th-this is it." He could not believe that she was allowing this. He could not believe that she could be this accepting. No matter what he had said about best-case scenario, he didn't think it would actually happen. If this was her ultimatum, he could take it.

"I can't thank you, enough for this," she settled back against him.

"Well, it would be a different story if you had just sprung this on me when it was published. So, thank you, for trusting me enough to give me a heads up." She drained the glass and set it down again.

He laughed, "well, what kind of a boyfriend would just spring that on his girlfriend? The whole thing is messed up enough. I mean, keeping it from you would be a classic high school Dan move."

Running a hand through her hair, she snuggled closer to his side and let out a chuckle, "that definitely would have been how you lost me."

They stayed there for what might have been twenty minutes or it might have been two hours. Neither of them could have said. At some point, Dan stood and offered her a hand and led them to bed.

Tomorrow would be a big day.


End file.
